七転八起

なな　ころび　や　おき
nana korobi ya oki

Sometimes, you find something that really resonates. This was mine this week, and I needed the reminder.

Literally, it says “7 times falling, 8 time standing up,” but the meaning is the same.

I have been falling a lot lately. My brain isn’t in a good spot, and neither is my thyroid. My doctors can’t figure out what the fault is – is it my depressing going crazy, or is my thyroid overreacting? The one interacts with the other, and they are all making everything worse. When one starts to do better, the other jumps in to pull me back down.

While I find “inspirational quotes” kind of really annoying, I’m giving it a try with the bullet journal. Maybe it will be a good way to worm positivist into my brain, who knows.

I’m also going back to a bit more of a structured weekly thing, because I think just having a blank page is harder to handle.

I’m only tracking things like what I did today (did I make something? Photos? Go for a walk to the conbini? Grocery shopping?) and other little notes for the day (how was the weather, since it seems it can’t decide if it’s winter or spring here, or other little positive notes).

As always, there is my weekly reminder to do shit (my habit tracker), which again includes if I took a nap, since my drugs are now messing with me and making me sleepy again. And of course, feels, which I write down here, as well as coloring in on a year long chart.

The color scheme for this week, though, has echoed in other places. I did a few pieces of resin jewelry with the same wintry colors – white and grey, with little hints of red and some sparkles.

This is good, right? I’m making things again, and getting a little bit of practice up with my translations, too, even if my kanji on this one is absolutely terrible. I should practice. Now, to find out what’s good in my brain, and keep that spirit up. One day at a time, though.

Random aside: some things about Japan I just can’t wrap my head around. Today’s WTF is the fact that everyone uses kerosene or electric stand heaters, on tatami. Literally, you put your heater on top of your flooring made from dried woven grass.

This seems grossly dangerous, especially when coupled with the fact that underneath my table, right now, is literally a coil stove burner that puts off heat as well. Also sitting on top of dried, woven grass mats (with a rug in between, but still).

This aside brought to you by the Saiki Fire Department responding to a fire near by that I would guess was probably caused by someone leaving a heater on, on top of their tatami floors.